As a mom can we “Dress for Success”?

Before we dive right into this topic, I’m going to define success as feeling confident as a mom. In other words, we feel good about our efforts and love our kiddos like crazy! Can how we dress, as moms, help us parent with more confidence? It sounds a little crazy to think that the two could be related. Especially, because being a mom isn’t the most glamorous of occupations. I’m changing poop-filled diapers, wiping sticky hands, and my shirts are often a display of what my kiddos ate that day. Mom life has its ups and downs, so it’s always good to find ways to feel more confident.

The old advice to dress for the job you want, not the job you have, may have roots in more than simply how others perceive you—many studies show that the clothes you wear can affect your mental and physical performance.

By Matthew Hutson, Tori Rodriguez on January 1, 2016

My Routine as a Young Mom and Student

I had my first little one while I was completing my Bachelors degree. Every weekday, I would get up and get dressed every morning and take her to school with me, where my husband and I would tag team watching her while the other would attend class. Or, one of my angelic, saint-like friends would watch her (love you forever ladies!). When school was done for the day, I did all the “mom-ing” stuff.

Usually, after putting our little one in bed, I worked from home and did the rest of my school assignments. So, I had to be energetic and ready when I got up in the morning to tackle everything I had to get done in the day. I didn’t realize it until later but when I got up and got dressed every morning I was kind of setting myself up for a good day or a hard day.

The “Mom” Advice I ignored

I took my last final ever and the next day I had my second kiddo. I know, what a fantastic way to celebrate! When I didn’t have classes to attend anymore, I remember celebrating by wearing my pajamas or loungewear all day. It was great, I had a newborn baby and a toddler and so I capitalized on rest and cuddles as much as I could.

However, as I was getting into my groove with the two little ones, I remember feeling like it was hard to feel productive or to want to be productive sometimes. I starting comparing my efforts to others and my confidence in my parenting abilities started to wane. I knew I wanting to change something but didn’t know exactly where to begin.

One of my friend’s from church mentioned something to me about motherhood around that time, that her mom mentioned to her, “Wake up and show up like it’s your job.” That definitely made me think a little but I honestly didn’t adopt that ideology into my life. I was like, “that’s great for you but I need my pajama time! Give me sweat pants or give me death!”.

“Wake up and show up like it’s your job.”

Anonymous

How Clothes can influence Confidence

In an Article written by By Matthew Hutson, Tori Rodriguez on January 1, 2016, called “Dress for Success: How Clothes Influence Our Performance” they gather research that suggests, “If you want to be a big-ideas person at work, suit up.” A paper in August 2015 in Social Psychological and Personality Science asked subjects to change into formal or casual clothing before cognitive tests. Wearing formal business attire increased abstract thinking—an important aspect of creativity and long-term strategizing.” Hear me out, I think there is a correlation here. As a mom, I need all the critical thinking skills and creativity I can get!

For some of us, if we get up and get dressed in something that makes us feel good, that confidence percolates into other parts of who we are that day. As moms, we wear many hats. (As a side note, I literally wear a lot of different hats, I love them. Easiest way to do your hair: cover it up!) I think if we feel good about ourselves, we can perhaps feel better in the the different hats we wear. The clothing isn’t what gives us the confidence per se, the clothing we wear can change our attitude about ourselves. That attitude shift can make all the difference in how confident we feel.

It was really Hard being Outnumbered by “Littles”

After, I had my fourth baby, it was a rough transition. I was struggling! I knew I needed to do something to help me feel like I could tackle the demands of having 4 kids. So, I changed a few of my habits and one of them was how I dressed. I started to put more effort into what I wore… ok by more, I don’t mean that I looked amazing all the time, I just put together outfits that made me happy and I felt good in (Instead of rolling out of bed everyday). It really helped me. I felt more awake and more like myself. I still had bad days, of course but I do feel like I was trying to dress for success, and it caused a change in my attitude.

Wear what makes you Feel Confident!

I have a few amazing friends that feel best and work harder when they wear their grubby sweats. You go girl! I am most definitely not knocking comfortable clothing like leggings and sweats. Many of the outfits I like to wear include leggings or some kind of loungewear. However, I try to pick outfits that I think look cute in and make me feel good about myself. Moms have to work hard and the uniform for that work will be different for all of us. Perhaps, ask yourself, “What makes me feel good about myself?”

There is not Just One Way to “dress for success” as a Mom

We are all a little or a lot different but motherhood does have it’s similarities across the board. Have you ever negotiated with a toddler about… anything? It can be mind-numbing! It’s almost as if children can smell fear and so we have to approach these situations with strength and confidence.

In a study recorded in December 2014 in the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, they concluded that “Informal clothing may hurt in negotiations.” After hearing that, I’m putting on a nice blazer and heels before lunch time, to hash out the dispute with my four year old, whether the color of plate has any effect on the taste of the food on said plate.

A Message to “New Moms”

There is a time and season for everything. So, be kind to yourself. If you just had a baby, please try avoid setting unrealistic expectations. I have done this and it makes life extra hard during this time of transition. After having a baby, just survive and try your best. If some of these tips are helpful, that’s awesome. But, if you already feel so overwhelmed with keeping your sweet baby alive, let alone getting dressed, ignore this advice. There will be a time when you feel more “normal”. Just remember, “things take time!”

Some Days you Just Need a Break!

Right now I’m writing this article early at 6:00am in my furry, fluffy robe and it’s working out pretty well. I am at my desk working, otherwise I’d be in “Snooze-ville”. Along those lines, if I were to wear my fluffy robe all day, an alarm in my brain would sound off, “Alert! Alert! Decrease Productivity. I repeat decrease productivity!” It would be hard to get anything done. So, if you want an “all day fluffy robe” kind of day, then plan for it, be intentional. Then, you won’t have to deal with the “mom guilt” because you decided beforehand how you wanted to approach that day. It’s ok to have some days where you relax and chill because it will recharge you for the next day.

If you’re having a hard time feeling up to the task of motherhood, I say try to “Suit up”! (Thank you Barney Stinson.)

Take time to Evaluate your Habits

I’m not suggesting give up your comfy sweats… that would be crazy! I’m saying be open to changing certain habits to help you feel like you’re doing your best. Do something that makes you feel good about yourself. That could be a variety of things. For example, for some women putting on makeup everyday makes them feel like a hundred bucks. Furthermore, some of you might decide to wear cute earrings everyday. Reevaluate what is working in your life and what is not going as well as you hoped. Remember things are never going to go quite to plan (at least that’s what I have experienced), but we can do things that help us enjoy life and to handle life’s challenges better.

Feeling Confident on Any Budget: Finding Cheap Style Solutions for Moms

1. Goodwill or other Thrift Stores: I love doing my “Goodwill hunting”. I have a few favorite shirts from Goodwill that cost only $2.00. I love wearing white but it’s not always practical with kids. But if the white t-shirt is only $2.00, I don’t freak out if it gets a stain. The key is, that you need to go to a Goodwill in an affluent location. You can snag some brand new items (especially because so many people shop online).
2. Amazon! We all love amazon and their “free return” policy right? I have 3 great dresses from Amazon that I love. I got a formal cocktail dress for $20! If you can’t return the item for free, I would pass on it.
3. If people offer you clothes for free… take it! Sometimes a sweater that seems out of style can have rebirth if it’s paired with really cute jeans or something else that’s more stylish. Or if you have sewing skills, you can alter an old piece of clothing.
4. Check Clearance First!! Stores are constantly updating their fashion line of clothes. There are some classic items of clothing that you can get for a great deal. Outlet Stores have great clearance prices!
5. Use Honey! You can shop online and Honey will search for the best deals and then they will instantly pop-up in your browser.
6. Websites that post deals! There are many websites out there that post deals! I love this one! Check out http://thecouponcaroline.com/
7. Use Ibotta! There are many “Earn cash back” rebate apps out there but I’ve used Ibotta for a couple years and have enjoyed it. You get money back on your purchases and can redeem gift cards. I saved up my earnings cash and got two amazon gift cards. I bought more expensive items with the help of the gift cards (I got some “New Balance” kicks that I have been wanting!)

Products I love!

Do any of these products fit into your budget?

This page contains affiliate links. This means that if you click a link and buy one of the products on this page, I may receive a commission (at no extra cost to you!) This really helps me keep creating content! This doesn’t effect my opinions or my reviews. Everything I do is to benefit you as the reader, so all of my reviews are as honest and unbiased as possible.

Here is a link to the article mentioned in my post!