Getting out of Debt is the Worst - Live & Love Life on a Budget

Getting out of debt is actually the worst. Don’t get me wrong, I’m totally invested in becoming debt free but that doesn’t mean there isn’t sacrifice and it’s not hard. So, today I’m honoring this part of the debt-free journey. The part of the whole process that make you want to pull your hair out. I present to you now 11 reasons why getting out of debt is just plain hard!

1. You have to Wait for Everything and I mean Everything!

Patience is a virtue and so if you want to brush up on that virtue, pay off your debt and learn how to budget. If I want to buy something or go on a vacation, I have to wait until I have the cash to pay for it. Usually, patience isn’t so hard because time flies with 6 kids. I’m pretty busy. However, occasionally, the whole patience thing wears on me. Let’s just say, I would love to increase our clothing budget. Sometimes, I see cute overalls that I really, really want and then I check my Everydollar budget and realize nope, not this month or not even next month. Can’t a girl just get a pair of cute overalls right when she wants them? One Day…Ashley… One Day!

2. When you’re Tired the Debt doesn’t Magically Disappear, you still have to Work Hard!

You know those days when you feel like you’ve got it all together? Yeah, I don’t know what those days are like either. Sure, there are days where I feel like things are going well but I never have it all together. I’m usually running around like a chicken with its head cut off. I get tired. I get so tired of all the hard work. Fortunately, I remember “why” I’m doing all this hard work and it motivates me. But sometimes I take a moment and wallow real good with a bowl of ice cream (but guys sometimes I can’t get ice cream right when I want it because of reason number 1!)

3. Progress can be Slow: It’s a marathon not a sprint

Some of you fantastic people out there do not have the huge debt problem that we have. I’m really happy for you (I say this as I’m breaking a pencil in half with my bare hands). Seriously, I am happy for those with less debt. Our journey has been long and it will continue to be long. We have to celebrate the small victories all along the way or we will give up. Getting out of debt is like dieting, you really have to make a life change to keep the weight off. Metaphorically speaking, to keep the debt off, we need to eliminate things from our financial diet and add positive behaviors to meet out goals. Once we cross that finish line, it will all be worth it!

4. Saying No when you Really want to say Yes

A card with check boxes. "No" box is checked.

Sometimes, saying “No” to your friends and family can be hard. Since we are paying off debt, we tell people “no” a lot more. Missing out on fun trips or activities can be hard. However, there is another aspect to “saying no” that I find very difficult.

What Will they Think?

Namely, I worry that people think I’m avoiding them, judging them, or that I just don’t like their company anymore. To illustrate this concept. Think: High School. This nerdy guy really digs this girl and he comes on a bit too strong and asks her out everyday. She comes up with excuse after excuse, why she can’t go out with him. Eventually, he gets the picture and moves on. Basically, I worry that my friends and family will get the wrong message, thinking that I’m making up excuses, when in actuality, I’m being pretty clear and candid. Will they move on, too?

Usually, people are pretty understanding. That aforementioned fear of mine is probably some deeply rooted psychological issue that needs to be addressed. Still, it’s hard not to care what people think sometimes. Along the same vein, it’s important to establish boundaries in your life and often times people won’t agree or understand certain lines you’ve drawn. Getting out of debt helps you live your life and care less what other people think.

5. Those Darn Joneses look Awesome and it’s Hard not to Compare

Comparison is a natural thing we humans do. Personally, I don’t think comparison is bad. I can see when someone buys a new car and I didn’t. Comparison isn’t the real beast here, it’s the feelings that come as we compare. Are you happy for other people’s successes? Or does their success leave you feeling unsatisfied with your life? Since we were toddlers, we want what other people have. Sometimes, my two year is totally uninterested in a certain toy but my, my how the tables turn, when his sister picks up the same toy. It’s suddenly the coolest thing we own and he has to have it!

Sorry Guys, the Joneses aren’t going Anywhere!

Unfortunately, the Joneses will always be there. The only way to avoid getting trapped in the never-ending rat race of keeping up, is to exercise a little thing called, gratitude. It is truly the antidote. Before we went on this debt free Journey I’m actually more content than ever. Don’t worry, I’m human and I still look at my friends or family and get a little jealous. However, instead of focusing on what I don’t have, I can be happy for them! One day, I might be cool like the Joneses. Honestly, most days I’m pretty content with life right now. If you struggle with this, jotting down (I always say that in a British accent) a few things everyday that you are grateful for!

6. Goodbye Hard Earned Money! Earning More Money and Immediately piling it on Debt

The poor doctor, AKA my husband, and I have been finding ways to increase our income. Thankfully, we have been successful and are bringing in more cash to pay off our debt. Here’s the kicker though, every now and then, I look at that nice paycheck and think of what we could do if we weren’t paying off debt. My mind usually wanders to a tranquil beach somewhere and I feel a little twinge of doubt. Is this really what we want to do with this money? My mind takes a one way ticket back to reality and I realize, “Yes” this is what we want. But sometimes it’s just hard to say, “Goodbye” to the money when you’re not exchanging said money for a new pair of shoes.

7. It’s Hard Work!

Getting out of Debt is not for the faint of heart. I do believe anyone can do it but they have to be ready for the hard work. As a stay at home mom, I have to find ways to save money rather than earn the big bucks. I babysit as my side-hustle and I’m trying to make this blog a success but my biggest contribution to paying off debt is sticking with our budget and keeping spending low. Being a “Home Economist” as Dave Ramsey likes to call it can be so annoying sometimes. I make a lot of things from scratch, I have to meal plan, shop the deals or thrift stores, sell things, and find ways to be creative to stretch our dollars. I definitely hit my pillow at night ready to go to bed.

8. IT’S HARD WORK and Everything Seems Harder

No, that’s not a typo. I intentionally repeated myself because getting out debt is so much work and so it deserves two slots. My husband also feels the strain of how hard getting out of debt is. Currently, he is continuing to grow his Optometry practice, he speaks at conferences, he is the optometrist at a prison that’s over an hour away, and probably other things I can’t think of. Needless to say, he knows how to work hard. Luckily, he has a pretty optimistic perspective and stays focused and positive. We are so grateful for these opportunities to work. Still, everyone now and then, we look at each other and telepathically or audibly communicate that the hard work just SUCKS!

9. You Feel like a Weirdo

After Josh graduated Optometry School, we were no longer students. It was a strange feeling to be “done” with school. Plus, people were now calling my hubby, Dr. Watt which also seemed surreal. People hear the title, doctor, and automatically have some preconceived notions or expectations. I think most of us hear the word, “doctor” and immediately the word wealthy comes to mind. Well, ladies and gentlemen, most doctor’s are not rich right out of school and most doctors have a mountain of student loan debt. Typically, those doctors simply keep their loans around for a long time, make their monthly payments and go on with life.

What we are doing is not “normal”, it’s weird. Most people think debt is just inevitable and it’s what you do. It can feel very lonely being a “debt snowball weirdo”. According to Forbes, 78% of American workers live paycheck to paycheck (find article here). Thus, I’m sure many people wonder why we are working so hard to tackle a goal that seems impossible to accomplish. Simply put, we want to live like no one else now, so later we can live and GIVE like no one else.

10. You have to be Intentional… Spontaneity What’s that?

Paying off debt requires planning and when you’re not much of a planner by nature, it can really be difficult. There are certain things I like to plan but “forecasting” my finances was a foreign concept to me. I wrote a great post on budgeting. In that post I talk about our pre-Dave Ramsey days and how we merely “tracked” our spending, unsuccessful “tracking”, might I add. Now, we plan ahead and before we spend money, we check our budget on Everydollar. Also, we prepare and plan ahead for certain expenses .

That might sound all fine and dandy but it can really be exhausting too. Wouldn’t it be nice to just do what you want to do without the whole planning part? Even if I want to go buy a bra or socks I have to consult my Everydollar budget to make sure I’m in the clear. Every now and then, I just want to pretend money is not an option and just get what I want, when I want it! Wow! When I say that last sentence out loud, I sound like I’m three years old.

11. Realizing your in Control of your Destiny and that Responsibility makes you want to Scream like a Terrified, Little girl!

Person sitting on top of a mountain, arms outstretched

“As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he… A man is literally what he thinks, his character being the complete sum of all his thoughts.” Those words by James Allen are both empowering and terrifying. Basically, if we think we will be in debt our entire life, that’s exactly what we can expect for our future.

Furthermore, in most situations there are ways to dig ourselves out of hardship. The digging itself is very taxing and difficult but oddly enough, the hardest part can be believing that you actually can get out of the pit in the first place. The reality, that we are in control of our lives, can be a tough pill to swallow. It means we have to stop pointing our finger at others and redirect that finger right back at ourselves and then take action. Sounds easy, right?

Why do I Stick with it when it’s the Worst?

I’m sure this incredibly whiny post has encouraged all of you to get out of debt! Naturally, I made it sound so fun and easy. All joking aside, Why did I write this post? Obviously, it wasn’t a sales pitch that left you desperate to cut up all your credit cards and jump on the Dave Ramsey band wagon. I wrote this post to share how hard getting out of debt can be, but on the flip side, it’s so worth it. If it wasn’t worth it, I would have given up a long time ago. In some strange way, I was hoping that me sharing my struggles could inspire you to try something that you’re afraid to try. Or perhaps, you needed to hear a genuine voice to validate your feelings of discouragement and subsequently help push you forward.

Why do we keep paying off our monstrosity mountain of debt even though its super, super hard? Now that we have a plan for our money, we feel more peace about our finances. Along those lines, our 6 kids also motivate us to keep going. We want to be more prepared for them now and for their futures. We have dreams to be able to travel, give and serve more. Even if some of our dreams aren’t realized, the peace that we feel everyday is worth it.

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